Liking
TVXQ was never my intention. I disliked them at first. They are people who kept
on appearing wherever I go. I never searched for them. It was them who showed
themselves to me; just like how I encountered Cassiopeia Philippines. Attending
7G was merely accidental. I wouldn’t have gone there if not for Tohoshinki’s
Best Selection album launch but it was different for the succeeding gatherings.
I was interested, excited and delighted when the yearly gatherings were
announced. For 8G and 9G, I had it all planned and made it there. It became a
yearly habit-- a habit I thought I’d never stop doing. It would have been the
same for 10G… if only I was still in the Philippines. J
If
I was there when 10G was announced, I would have cleared my August 25 right
there and then. I would have arranged a meet up for the person-in-charge of
ticket and bought mine. If the venue was unfamiliar, I would have searched on
it, made all the possible preparations as far as printing out the directions so
that on that day, I wouldn’t be lost. I would have been welcomed by the sight
of a crowd that has always been excited for these yearly events. I would be
amazed again by the dedication the cores have been giving to these events. I
would be randomly taking pictures—not of the merchandises nor the standees or
tarps of TVXQ but of the people who attended the event. I would have recorded
the giggles, the cries and screams during the film viewing. And as the event ends, I would have been
awestruck again.
Attending
these gatherings had always been a comfort. It would always give a prick in the
heart seeing clips or whatsoever of TVXQ with Jaejoong, Changmin, Yoochun,
Junsu and Yunho in it. But a prick is better than a heart burst from not being
able to see them as that again. The event was always beautiful to me. The
concept was always creative but that was just one factor. It’s always the
people in the event that made it beautiful. The love and support of the fans
never faded. It was always there. There might be times that it’s stained but it
never left… and I feel sad for not being able to witness that love again.
Will
I be able to attend 11G? 12G? When will I be able to attend the gatherings
again, even I don’t know. I don’t even know if there will be succeeding
gatherings after 10G. When I decided to go,
I was not afraid of being alone in an unfamiliar place. I was only worried that
by the time I come back, all the things I was used to are already gone and
done.
To
the CassPH core (if there’s a possibility that you’d be reading this), I’m
sorry. I had not been a good member. I wanted to offer my help as volunteer or
attend your other activities but even if I want to, I wouldn’t be able to go.
Not anytime soon. So even with the inexistent member as I am, I want to thank
you for giving me the great times I had during the past gatherings and events.
You (the cores) and all the people who are part of Cassiopeia Philippines are
all wonderful. Just like what I said in my previous blogs about the gatherings,
I hope it continues. It’s not a command, just a selfish wish. Hopefully, I’d be
able to witness it all again.
I left a lot in the
Philippines—family, friends, acquaintances and some other things. I was not even
able to pack my things myself as I was still busy doing my work. It was my mom
who did all the packing. I haven’t seen what’s in it until I arrived here. When
I had it unpacked, this was one of the things that she packed for me.
Even
though I’m already somewhere far and in different timeline, I’d always be a
member of Cassiopeia Philippines. I’ll let this shirt shout how the supporters
of TVXQ in the Philippines have been keeping the faith all this time, loud and
proud. :)
-Regina, spreading
the love from Indonesia J
