2nd year Fanniversary :))

It was thanks to plurk that I've known when was the first time I started liking DBSK or their music. It was August 20, 2009 when i first watched mirotic MV and on the 21st, I updated a plurk saying that DBSK's mirotic is addicting. This is also the first time that i've liked a kpop band. I do listen to korean music but that's just from the OST of kdramas and kvariety shows that i've watched. They are the first, and probably, the last. :)

So what has happened to this fangirl after 2 years? Let me go down the memory lane. :)

1. 2009 was the emo-est time of my Fan girl life. I was 4th yr college then and on the road to graduation, instead of joining school orgs and lurking at school and voting for the next set of student council officers, I joined trending events on twitter, I voted like crazy on dbsk-related polls, I lurked at forums and sites for like 10 times a day, I spam my notes with always keep the faith and to top it all, I started a blog. My first year was the emo-est as it was the time when the lawsuit was born and the time when DBSK as a quintet band was shaking. You just don't know how I crazily checked news regarding the development of the lawsuit. But as the year ended it was getting worse. Cancelled concert, fanmeets until I heard no news at all. This may sound exaggerated but it was really maddening. All the more when school is getting b*tchy as well.
2. 2010 was the peak of my fangirl life. With 3 months before graduation, I don't know how I was able to give an E for effort on fangirling back then. Aside from the obligatory buying a DBSK album releases and the usual stalking of sites and forums for news, it was this year when I've most updated this blog. I even made birthday posts for each member! Looking back I was really a dedicated fan back then. I remembered that on Changmin's birthday, we were preparing our thesis and finals then I asked my classmates to write a happy birthday changmin on a paper. If that's not crazy then tell me what it is. I was religiously updating this blog even at the busiest time of my college life-- requirements here, papers there but I managed to update this back then. Dedicated, weren't I?
3. I may have graduated in college but i've still not graduated from the fan girl academy. While my classmates were busy looking for job, I was enjoying my vacation while fangirling. But it was also the saddest time of fangirling as it marked the major hiatus of DBSK as 5. It was holy week when my t-list was sobbing in their tweets as AVEX formally announced that they'd put an indefinite halt to Tohoshinki's group activities. AVEX, as most cassies thought, was the last resort for the quintet to stay as five but everything shattered. Though this might be the saddest moment, personally, It was a blessing. I was formally hired at a school May of 2010. This also marked the year when I started going to kpop events and gatherings. CassPH's 7G was the first event that I went to. And on the first salary that I received, I bought DBSK's first korean album, Tri-angle. It felt good as it was my own-earned money that I used in buying it. But as I've started working, things I've done as a fan girl slimmed.
4. Mid-year of 2010 is struggle time. The lawsuit filers formed a group named JYJ and the other two were just focusing on not-so-music-related stuffs. This was also the time when fandom was beginning to breakdown. It was a good thing that I was getting busy for work as I don't have the time to check on current news-- but I still did, occasionally. I put queued posts on tumblr, I try to join trending topic but not as much as I have done before and still bought their albums, attended events but more than that, there's not much that i've done. It was the same in the beginning of 2011. This time, DBSK finally came back-- not as a quintet but as a duo.
5. August 2011, what have I become as fan girl? Before in my twitter bio, it was written there that I'm a full time teacher, part time fan girl but just recently, i've changed it to full time teacher, occasional fan girl. I may not be at the same level when I was a new fan girl than to the fan girl who have turned 2 yrs old right now but it doesn't mean that I've less liked them. They will always be my first and last korean-band-love. It's just that, i have learned to accept the changes and the reality that there's the existence of a group JYJ who have once became a member of DBSK and that DBSK right now is a duo. I've accepted it, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It stings a bit, but I know i've moved on. There are times when I look back at the past and wishes to stay there forever but i know that won't help me.

So how was the 2-year old fan girl? She has turned into a fangirl who looks back in the past but adjusts to the present and hopes for a better future. :)

8G’s un/lucky one :)

I was one of those people who were already excited for 8G as early as the 7G ended. So when I knew that 8G will be held on May 7, I told myself that I definitely have to go. When CassPH announced the start of meet up in buying the tickets, I went at once. It was so nice of Edward to wait for me until 6pm and luckily I was included in the first 88.

8G’s theme this year was the Carnival so they added a sprinkle of carnival in every booth. Have you tried playing darts? Have you ever wanted to have a photoshoot with TVXQ? And have you ever wanted to go to Quiapo and visit a manghuhula to know your future? Well, too bad 8G has ended already because you get to experience all of those if you were there.

As Early as April, 8G has partially started. CassPH held contests that lasted until the end of April and the winners were announced at the event. Who said @elbowyeish started the egg-trend?! It was actually Kim Junsu; thus the birth of the contest Ang Gintong Itlog ni Junsu video subbing contest. Because I was un/lucky, I wasn't able to know who won nor see the videos. Good thing CassPH posted it here. The next was named as Return of the King: Scavenger’s Hunt contest – the game that made me crazy. :P

LACK OF LUCK

I had no intentions of joining any contest from 8G because for me, attending the gathering was already enough. I was so excited about the gathering that I've always checked CassPH’s facebook page and their other sites for updates. Then I saw a post written as “ROTK clue #1”. I ignored it because I didn’t understand what it was until I saw another clue post again. This time, I had a hunch where the clue was heading. Unfortunately, I was lost with Spudge’s “I will lead you to the king”. I was there but I don’t know where to look further and more importantly, I don’t know WHAT to look for. So with frustration, I gave that clue up and I told myself that I will definitely look for the kings in whatever form they appear.

START OF LUCK

How I was able to find a king was merely out of luck. As I visited my twitter, dbsknights posted an update. I clicked the link and on the sidebar was the sentences “congratulations! You found a king!” and I was “ano daw? I found a king? Ay shet ROTK! ” It’s junsu on a tarot card with a title of a king and a question – exactly how CassPH explained in the mechanics of the game: find the king, the king’s title and the answer to the question. And so I decided to formally join the contest. I got 1/5 kings! XD Jaejoong simply appeared to me through @joejjang’s tweet. Next that I found was Changmin. I think that was the first time I found a king through a CassPH’s clue (yes, I am slow like that, thank you XD). Then Yoochun and Yunho left me hanging. The two were no where to be found and I was desperate to look for them because I read posts and tweets that they only need one more king. And it’s a battle for the first 8! XD (I am so happy this was held in April, else I wont be able to join them like this as I already had to report back to work first day of May ) You don’t know how crazy I was when @yookcheoni tweeted yoochun’s tarot card. “SHET SHET SHET!!!!!! ISA NA LANG ISA NA LAAAAANG!!!!! YUNHOOO!!!!!!!” Then holy week came. I try to restrain myself from using the internet during these time of the year as a form of my abstinence. And so I thought that winning was impossible as I already missed 3 days looking for Yunho. Good Saturday morning, I ended my abstinence. (When you think that you only need 1 more king and you may still have the chance to be included in the winners, do you think I can still abstain from the internet longer? XD) So I checked CassPH’s facebook and the 8^th clue was “go to the city and visit the red house“ AND I WAS SURE IT’S ONETVXQFORUMS—the site I’ve been stalking since I started looking for the kings. I was too excited to find who the king was. I think google knew that I was having a battle against time hoping that the king was Yunho and that I can still be included in the winners. Google was a sadist. I was so excited, in a hurry THEN IT STOPPED RESPONDING. “SHEEEEEET!!!!!!!! NAGHANG!!!!!!!!! TAKTE BAKIT NAGHANG?!?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!“ And as I was a desperate scavenger, I logged out my profile, logged in my brother’s profile, opened firefox (as chrome was not being friendly) went to onetvxqforums, logged in, went to the red house and there was the “congratulations“ word. It was even more thrilling when the king’s picture was taking forever to load until I found out that it was YUNHO! THE EMPEROR!!!! “SHET SHET SHET SI YUNHO NGAAAAAAA!!!!! LEADER!!!!!!!“ As I scrolled down the page to look for the question, I frowned after reading it. “PAK. BAKIT ANG HIRAP NG TANONG?! BAKIT BAKIT BAKEEEEEET?!?!?!?!“ And feeling that I was in a game show with the no coaching rule, I tried to think of the answer myself….and failed. Thankfully, I was able to have an idea by visiting CassPH facebook info page. And having found the five kings, I sent my answers to CassPH.

WHEN LUCK FLUCKTUATES

So I thought that the gathering itself was the only thing left for me as I was already done being a scavenger. I was just browsing the web when CassPH reminded people that there were still slots for the winners as they were waiting for the FIRST 8. I was really hoping that I was one of them and looked back again on my answers. (FYI, when I decided to join the contest, I copied the format in sending the entry on sticky pad so that every time I see a king, I just paste the info there. Serious scavenger IS SERIOUS. XD) Another reminder from CassPH was to check the answers and the link. I was a little confident with the answers as I found it from cassies sites and from the page of CassPH but the links kept me thinking… “the exact link but not the photo link… the exact link but not the photo link… TAAAAAEEEENAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! MALI AKO MALI AKO MALI AKO!!!!!! SHET SHET SHET!!!!!!! TAAAAAAKTEEEEE!!!!! BAKEEEEET!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!“ I really freaked out!!!! Resending the entry was still accepted but wadapak! The emperor appeared Friday night and I just found him Saturday morning and it was already SUNDAY EVENING when I realized that I was wrong! @!$@#%@^#$&@^@#%@ I was ranting my frustrations on my twitter and later that night I received a DM asking me what happened as she was worried about my all caps-raining-with-exclamation tweets. That’s when I realized that I was, indeed, crazy at that moment. I even screen-capped my tweets so that I can have a good laugh at my crazy self. xD I told myself that I will not resend my entry, as I know it wont make any sense anymore. It’s just hours before the deadline and im pretty sure there were already a lot who have found all five kings, answered the questions right and had the correct links…there goes my frustration again. @$@#%#%#%@ But because I was really bothered, I resend my entry; minutes before the deadline. Rising gods of the east, himala naman dyan please~ XD

LUCK LOCKED

It was only a day before the gathering when an unfortunate event happened. My auntie died Friday afternoon and we had to go to Cavite. That’s Friday night and 8G was Saturday. I was so down thinking that I wouldn’t be able to go to the event. “walanjo. Kasama sa first 88 na bumili ng ticket tapos hindi pala makakapunta. Badtrip!” Not that I was blaming my auntie but it was just really…unfortunate of me. You don’t know how I begged my parents for us to come home Saturday morning. They said we’ll be travelling back by 6am. NOT. We traveled back by 10am. While 8G attendees were probably waiting for the event to start, I was still on my way home. HOW GREAT. We arrived at home by 1pm. I just took a bath, grabbed my wallet, my ticket and went directly to starmall. It was already 2pm when I arrived at the mall.

SCAVENGER’S HUNT: EXTENDED

Here’s the funny part. I have no idea where star mall trade hall was. I am familiar with mega mall’s trade hall but that was my first time for star mall. I was smiling while walking thinking that I got lost even in a small place. XD I passed by a sales guy and he was inviting me to their boutique. I smiled at him and he said “thank you ma’am for smiling!” I thought, “thank you ka pa dyan. Hindi ko na nga Makita yung pupuntahan ko.” I was walking for almost 30 minutes in looking for the carnival. It was almost 4pm when I arrived – approximately 2 hours to enjoy the event.

8G: The Carnival | The Final Luck

Just like in 7G, I came alone to this year's gathering. I don’t have anyone with me but there were cassies willing to accompany me in the event whom I met on twitter. (kind fans are KIND. ) The first thing I did was to buy the complete A + B side collection album. I was lucky to still have the exclusive tohoshinki bag tag though my name wasn’t printed anymore as they ran out of ink. The next thing I did was to claim my membership card. I went to the booth and I was given the list of those who purchased the card. I looked for my name and opposite to it was the words “ROTK winner”. “hala!!!! Nanalo ako!!!!” I was really surprised because…well you know what happened. I think I freaked the ladies at the booth as I was really delighted to be one of the winners. That means having the chance to experience the booths and have 2 CassPH merchandises FOR FREE. I have less than 2 hours to claim my prize and so I went from booth to booth.

I can feel that the event was about to end so I had to hurry else my prizes would go to a waste. First I went to get the merchandises. I chose the shirt and the lanyard. I was really smiling while I was pointing them. Next that I did was the photobooth. I never liked solo shots…well it’s not really solo pero ako lang ang literal na buhay so I took Lyn, a friendly junsu-biased cassie who accompanied me in the event. Next to us in the line was jeje-look-alike and core mish. Because I am a random person and I really want more people on the photo, I asked them to join us. At first they didn’t want it but I insisted and won. XD The first picture was blurry as all of us weren’t prepared for it. I even shouted “ate wait lang pause muna! “ to the person-in-charge. XD The second pic was fine though. If you know them, please tell them I am so sorry for being random like that. :p Next stop was the darkness eyes. This was full of HAHA. My aunt used to go to Quiapo and seek answers to her concerns and I never imagined in my life that my future will ever be read to me through tarot cards. It was EPIC when kuya manghuhula asked me my concern—love or career. I thought “kuya ang talagang concern ko lang naman ay magamit yung napanalunan ko. Yun lang. XD” It was even more funny when he told me his readings. I chose love by the way. XD I was taking a photo of the ladies-in-charge of the booth. I don’t know where the bread came but they asked “gusto mo?” and so I took one after which they added 6 pesos isa. (I don’t really remember the price they said XD) It was a joke but I was actually willing to pay for it. :p Then the dongbangspinki booth, the trivia booth and my last was the darts booth. It was at that time when they started showing music videos of dbsk. The people-in-charge of the booth were screaming. She even told me “ate wait lang nood muna tayo ha!” Of course i wasn't a kill joy so I let them watch the videos first.

And there it was again. The same scene i've seen last year when we were watching the secret code concert. There it was again, the people screaming each time a dbsk member does this, shows that, sing. There it was again, the people singing with just what you may call film viewing yet they were doing fan chants: what fans do when the boys were performing live or having a concert. We only have those videos recorded and viewed but the screams, the cheers, the happiness in their faces was not less of a difference to those people who’ve seen the five live. Each time the crowd screamed, I saw the awe in the eyes of people who were there but were really not a fan (those from astroplus and odyssey)- the wonder of how can people be that hyped with just that. Yes, we only have these gatherings. Majority of the fans there weren’t able to see the five perform live. Lucky are the fans of Shinee, Super Junior, 4 minute, 2am and all the other kpop artists who’ve been here for they were able to see them in flesh. Lucky are the fans that were able to wave their light sticks in a concert. Lucky are the fans of groups that are physically whole, with no disbanding and lawsuit issues. Lucky are they, but I believe I was LUCKIER for despite all the lack of luck, the fandom I chose was still always there and never left the boys—supported them even as JYJ or TVXQ. If keeping the faith was a contest, I think we have already won. And whatever the future holds for the boys, I hope the fandom keeps on winning.

This fan account will not be this long if I didn’t enjoy the event. To the attendees, thank you for showing me that at the end of it all, I was still lucky and to the CassPH core, thank you for making me extremely happy and...for making me love this fandom even more. I really hope you won’t get tired of doing this. I know this cant be forever, but I hope this can be for longer. See you at the next event? :)

TVXQ fans since their early days: why you are lucky

When was I not yet their fan? When did I became a fan? And why do I consider the fans of TVXQ in their early days lucky?

I wasn't a tvxq-fan yet when...

• they debuted in that britney and boA christmas show
• they released their first album
• yunho's teeth wasn't fixed yet.
• jaejoong didn't have much fans.
• when they mostly sung beautiful acapellas.
• when they dominated korean television with their numerous CFs
• the first time they went to Japan to promote their albums there.
• when they won and cried during awarding ceremonies.
• when they performed in music bank, inkigayo and the likes.
• when they guested in different variety shows.
• when they went to different countries together.
• when they had their first concert in Japan.
• when they had that bigeastation.
  
• when Cassiopeia got in to guinness book of records.
• when they performed in tokyo dome.

and I was already their fan when...

• i've seen their Mirotic MV.
• their Mirotic Concert just ended.
• when Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu decided to file a lawsuit to SM Entertainment.
• when their bigeast fanmeet got canceled.
• when the bigeastation ended.
• when they performed in the Music Station year ender (?)
• when jaejoong, yoochun and junsu accepted the TVXQ award from Mnet
  
• when they released their single break-out
• when they released the PV of Toki wo Tomete
• when Avex decided to stop their group activities.
• when Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu became JYJ.
• when TVXQ came back as a duo with Changmin and Yunho.

And even with just that tiny bit of time seeing them together as five, I do believe that one day, I'll be able to hear them sing together and perform in one stage again Even if I was not with them during their early days, I believe that their brotherhood is real and though the situation has turned out for them to be divided as JYJ and TVXQ, the bond is still there.

That's why the early fans are lucky because they have seen them when they started together, struggled together and succeeded together. The early fans are lucky because they were ALL one as a fandom- no JYJ-only-fans, no HOMIN-only-fans just fans for ALL TVXQ. Unlike some, like me, who can only look back at those days through recorded data, then think "why haven't I known them earlier? Why haven't I became a fan earlier?"

Dear Cassiopeia,
I fell in love with your fandom right after I fell in love with TVXQ. It was when I became their fan when you shined the brightest to me; staying positive that those five will be able to make it through the struggles they were experiencing. And now, almost 2 years have passed and the lawsuit hasn't ended yet. Sometimes, the fandom gets divided; others only follow jaejoong, yoochun and junsu, others go to yunho and changmin. I cannot really blame them for having their own opinion but most of the time, the division makes me sad. If only I became a fan earlier, maybe I can still experience the firm oneness of the fandom, that often this times, disappears. If only I became a fan earlier, maybe I would only experience petty wars about their biases and not a fan war of fans to fans. If only I was a year earlier or two... but my "ifs" wont change anything.

I have kept my faith to TVXQ as five as much as I have kept my faith to the fandom. I also firmly believe that there are still many fans out there that support all of them equally. I know that there are still many who, even in uncertainty, believes that they will be seeing those five in one stage together. To me, JYJ fans are still cassiopeia and the TVXQ duo fans are still cassiopeia because together, they are still the same old TVXQ who all debuted as a group of five. We can only hope and pray that they'll be back as what we want them to be but we can never be sure of anything and we can only wait. And I hope, that upon waiting for this miracle, I'll still be surrounded by people who have and has been supporting the five, no more, no less.

Look back on the happy days. Look back on the days you supported them as five. Believe in the fandom. Trust Jaejoong, Yunho, Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun. Stick together and never lose the faith.

sincerely,
TVXQ and cassiopeia fan.