"TVXQ in Manila"

It was April 30, 2019. I was out and about at a nearby street when I received a notification on Messenger from a friend from L’Arc~en~Ciel Philippines Street Team. Her message was “I can't find your Twitter pero @Rej! I just saw the news. Your TVXQ boys in Manila soon. Congrats!” I checked Twitter right away and saw the news. TVXQ in Manila was indeed announced. The announcement was made extra special because the promoter posted on her Twitter account a video clip of all the gatherings and events the fans of TVXQ in the Philippines did and attended—acknowledging how these fans were the pioneers of Kpop fandom in the Philippines. I couldn’t absorb everything yet and it didn’t help that my phone was on the brink of dying so I went home to get a full grasp of the news: TVXQ in Manila *is finally happening on July 13, 2019, at Mall of Asia Arena. Some friends from different fandoms messaged me, gave me their heartfelt congratulations because they know I have been a fan of this group even before Kpop became a mainstream genre. After all the artists that have come to the Philippines to have a concert, it’s finally time for TVXQ to come to Manila.

Days passed after the announcement and we were all just excited about the concert. There were worries here and there, but the desire to see TVXQ in Manila prevailed. Filipino fans did everything to help spread the news of TVXQ coming to Manila: From doing giveaways, to making a detailed (and translated in Multilanguage aside from English) FAQs for the concert like how to get to the venue from the airport, options for accommodations, expenses, almost everything that you would need to know before attending a concert at a venue you are not familiar with. There was even a detailed guide on the fan chants for the concert. It was clear as the sky that we all want TVXQ in Manila to push through, whatever it takes. The noise about the concert grew lesser from the announcement to the ticket selling, until I heard no noise anymore. It was frightening. My usual self who would expect the worst didn’t want to acknowledge the anxiousness I was feeling towards the concert. More than anything else, I want TVXQ in Manila to happen. I want TVXQ to see their fans in the Philippines. I know fans who have seen them outside of the country for a couple of times now and I also saw them the first time when I went abroad to see their concert. It was fun seeing them perform but nothing beats the joy to see your fellow fans in the Philippines enjoy the same performance you’ve seen. Nothing beats the happiness of finally making TVXQ witness the love of the Filipino fans who have poured out their time and youth to show their love for TVXQ, from then until now. As time went by, having TVXQ in Manila became more of a dream for the local fandom than for me. I dream that one day, TVXQ would hear the screams and cheers of these fans. I held on to that dream and I believed that the time to realize that dream is coming true soon; until June 21, 2019 happened. The same account who posted the news about TVXQ in Manila made an announcement that the concert will be postponed indefinitely. I was crushed.

There were mixed emotions about the announcement; some were sad, frustrated, mad, and I was a little bit of everything. I posted on Twitter my rants, my frustrations, my feelings, my anger, my crushed dream. The happy routine of checking the hashtag #TVXQinManila on Twitter became a harsh slap of reality because there you’d read the cries, frustrations, and anger of fans who were hopeful about the Manila concert. The hashtag that I used to check that reminded me that TVXQ is coming to the Philippines is the same hashtag that reminded me that it’s not happening anymore. We took a huge blow, but just like how Filipinos make it through adversities, the local fandom Cassiopeia Philippines, organized a concert screening on the supposed date of the concert. What supposed to be the day to see TVXQ in Manila became a gathering of fans. I volunteered to help out whatever I could for the event. Given the short time the fans were given to organize, it was not as grandiose as their previous gatherings; after all, who would have thought that they’d have to do it again when we all believed that it was finally time for all of us to see an event attended by the artists themselves. The event was all throughout heartwarming. We were all devastated, but watching those two on screens, screaming to their songs, doing fan chants, made the pain bearable. International fans like Bigeasts were also in attendance and you could see the awe in their eyes as they watch Filipino fans chant perfectly to Tohoshinki songs (the concert screening was Tohoshinki’s Begin Again Tour in Nissan Stadium). The event ended, the days passed. I thought the gathering was enough to lift up my spirit, but no matter how thankful I was for the event, deep down, I am still devastated about what happened to the supposedly TVXQ in Manila. You know how it feels when a loved one dies? You don’t feel the impact on the death itself, not even in the wake of the burial; The pain comes creeping in after everything is done when things are back to normal and all the people who gave you comfort on those hard times are back on their regular routine. That’s how bad it was for me; it felt like a loved one died. The precious dream I’ve longed and wanted for a long time suddenly disappeared and I don’t want to dream again because I have been traumatized the first time I did. It didn’t help that the tour was just beginning, that TVXQ in Manila was supposed to be the second leg of the tour, that there would be other stops, that there would be countries they’d add, that the tour is still ongoing, but your dream of seeing them in your country is officially not happening anymore. I tried to go to one of their stops but I felt that I was being unfair to TVXQ because I know, amidst their outstanding performance, the happiness of attending their concert, at the end of that, I’d still be sad and think why we were denied of the chance to see that in our country.

I am writing this now because the tour is finally over. You might think that it’s absurd, but deep down? I hoped that TVXQ in Manila would be miraculously announced to happen again within the tour run because the local promoter said that it was just “postponed indefinitely”. I was that hopeful. I believed and placed my 101% trust in the local promoter. I kept my faith, kumapit ako, I did exactly what they told us to do. Was it not enough? We haven’t been around for twenty years but some of their fans in the Philippines have been a fan for 16 years and all we wanted was to be given a chance for them to see us here. What a beautiful welcome it would be to tell TVXQ that they already visited the venue of their concert back in 2003 when Mall of Asia was still in construction and the arena was still not built. What a lovely noise we would have made as our screams of fan chants resonate in the arena. How happy we would have been if they told us that they would have come sooner; if they knew there were fans passionately waiting for them here. We might be a small group of fans compared to others, a small crowd, a mere constellation among the many stars, but just like everyone else, we have so much love to give. Were we never enough? Was that never enough?   

People would say TVXQ coming to Manila is not really a hopeless case. Another chance may come up; that maybe, it’s just not our time yet. However, TVXQ in Manila left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth: the fans, the local promoters, sponsors, and maybe TVXQ's company and TVXQ themselves. I don’t even check on TVXQ that much anymore. I am too sad and it would take me a long time to move on from this. But I want to believe that rather than "We are T!": tired (of waiting), “We are T!”: tough. Tough enough to handle this hurdle. After all, being a TVXQ fan was never for the weak-hearted. I would let time heal this broken fan until she could dream of TVXQ in Manila again. I hope and pray that time would come.

"Always keep the faith"?

Has it been seven years for me? When I started this blog, it was mostly to remember all the good apart from all the bad. But where's the good now? 

Right now, Park Yoochun is caught up in a case. The crazy part? He's caught up in an issue when he's currently in military service. It's tragic that this issue must happen when normal fandom don't hear news about their oppas on military service period but I get it. The fandom I chose isn't just an ordinary fandom and it would never be. The fandom I chose would always be that fandom who had to experience all sorts of issues that other fandoms don't. Filing lawsuit against their company? Done. Disbanding issues? We had it long before. Members staying and leaving? Check. Broadcast ban? Oh yes. Dating issues? Of course. Rape case? That's our current issue. And you know what hurts? It's to realize that after years of investing to people whom I'm sure don't even know I exist, you would never know the real story behind all those issues. And the heartbreak is that even after knowing that fact the hard way, you still hold on. You grab on anything that would make you stay. Because the good things that you're looking for right now, were the same good that helped you on your bad days when you were still new in the fandom. These people who are bringing you heartaches right now were the same people who brought you joy and the happiness in fangirl(ing). You met new friends. You had an inspiration. 

Do I believe that Yoochun did it? I don't know. Do I think the girl is making up a story? I don't know. Do I agree of him being accused? No. He should have the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty. If Yoochun really did it, would I defend him? No. Am I tired of all these issues? Yes.  

Am I tired of them? My logic says yes but the dreamy fangirl in me says otherwise. So as long as that fangirl is still within me, I'm going to hold on to that faith, no matter how unsure I am if it would be worth it until the end. 

Of Gatherings and Concert Screenings. :)

It has always been a bliss attending Cassiopeia Philippines events. My first attended gathering was the 7th Gathering - 7G. I also attended 8G and 9G but I missed the 10th Gathering. Although I attended a TVXQ-fan gathering when I was in Indonesia, it still felt different when I attended CassPH's Gs thus when I had the chance to attend 11G, I made sure I would make it.

11G :) [06072015]

*Note: This is long-overdue. Apologies in advance for the incoherent narrative.*

I don't remember when CassPH announced the details for 11G but the date decided what day I'd go back to the Philippines for my vacation last 2014. June 6 2014 was the last day of our class for school year 2013-2014. After class, I went home right away and packed my bags as I had a flight to catch midnight of June 7. Most of my co-teachers opted for June 8 or June 9 flight  but I told them that I should be in Manila by morning of June 7. Why? Because June 7 was the date for 11G: CassPH's 11th Gathering. I arrived in Manila around 6AM of June 7 and by that time I still didn't know how I'd tell my parents that I'd just go home and change my clothes because I had a gathering to attend to. Luckily, I saw Jessica at the airport and it gave me the cue.

Mama: Sino yun?

Me: Si Jessica po taga Cebu. Magkikita ulit kami mamaya.

Mama: Bakit? Saan?

Me: May gathering kasi ng mga fans ng TVXQ pupunta ako.

Mama: Ano ka ba Regina Marie kararating mo lang magpahinga ka muna.

Me: Eeeeeeh kaya nga ako June 7 umuwi kasi pupunta talaga ako doon eh. Sige na pleeeeease.

Mama: Ay naku bahala ka.

*This may not be the exact dialogue but it's a fact that meeting Jessica at the airport helped me ask permission and I pleaded for their "okay" xD* 

To cut the story short, I was able to attend 11G from beginning until the end. (Sidenote: 11G had a dress code. I purposely packed what I'd wear for the event on my hand carry bag so I needed not to unpack all of my bags just to look for it. xD) Ate Tin's reaction when she saw me and the Cebuanas was golden. Indeed, it was amazing that there were people like us who had to ride a plane just to attend the gathering. I always went alone in the past gatherings (but I was never lonely :p) and so I was so happy when I met Mari and her sister Bel even more when they let me join them. When they went home, I joined Jessica, uridb5k and kimoooy13 (I am so bad with remembering names sorry sorry sorry T_T) for Tohonight. Oh Tohonight. I wanted to show the inner dancer in me but it was never existent in the first place so I was just there at the side as I watched those people who danced gracefully. I was amazed and envious at the same time. There were also TVXQ-JYJ flavored shots that night. I remembered how Eka asked "Natikman mo na ba si *insert TVXQ-JYJ member name*? Masarap!". The cebuanas went home right after the Tohonight ended but the 'bakasyonista' in me wanted to stay longer so I was with the core until egress. I joined CassPH with their little salo-salo after the event at Jollibee. Remember that I just got back to the Philippines that day and anything only-in-the-Philippines makes every bakasyonista or returning OFW happy. We don't have Jollibee in Jakarta! I missed the chicken with gravy! I was so happy and even happier because I had the chance to spend that meal with CassPH cores. And it didn't end there. I was able to get to North Edsa thanks to Beetamins (Again my memory is bad with names T_T) who dropped me there. It was a whole day of overwhelming happiness. OFWs are often expected to give pasalubong each time they go for a vacation in the Philippines but it was a different case for me. I was the one who received pasalubong that day; from bag, to shirt, to bao-na-coin-purse and dried mangoes. The fan screams sounded so pleasing to the ears, the smiles were refreshing and the cheers were heartwarming. I've watched several concerts and events in Jakarta, but as our Department of Tourism always says, it is indeed, more fun in the Philippines, even in fangirling. :)

*snippets from the CassPH's 11G here. *

I went back to Jakarta July 2014 and came back to the Philippines again December of the same year. I had been in the Philippines since then thus the reason why I was able to attend the latest CassPH event up to date, the Dong Bang Day: T1ST0RY Concert Screening. :)

Concert Screening Part 1: TVXQ: "T1ST0RY in Seoul" Concert [08282015]

*note: I said on twitter that I would do a series of tweets for the said DBD but I remembered I was not able to make an account for 11G so instead, I just revived this blog and posted it here.*

• I was so happy when Ate Tin hinted for a T1ST0RY screening on Facebook. I thought there wouldn't be anything of this sort anymore as 4 out of the 5 already enlisted in the military.
•  According to the ticketing announcement, it should start on sale midnight of August 17. I checked around 2AM and I was welcomed with a "there are no tickets currently available for this event" message. I thought "Ano dalawang oras lang ako na-late wala na agad ticket?" Thanks to Ate Tin, she told me the site was already fixed and I reserved my ticket.
• I had a part-time job on the day of the screening. The said screening was scheduled 4PM and my part-time was also set at 4PM yet it didn't stop me from attending the event. I told my coordinator I had something to do that Friday and I'd just work on Monday (August 31, a non-working holiday) to compensate my absence. She agreed. 
• Hannah asked on twitter if there's anyone attending the T1ST0RY screening. That started our conversation and the plan to go together along side with eating at a Korean Resto. All set and it was the day of the event.
• For some reasons, my father asked for my assistance to fix our electric wiring and my plan of meeting Hannah earlier went down the drain. QC to Taguig wasn't a fair distance so when I travelled at 2:30PM, I knew I would be late.
• I arrived at MRT Ayala Station at 3:45PM. As I dashed on my way to the BGC bus terminal, Tohoshinki's Cheering played. Energy boost x 100. :D
• I was not familiar with BGC nor do I know how to get to KCC. The only time I went to BGC was during 9G. I read directions while I waited on queue for the BGC bus. Luckily, I saw someone wearing CassPH shirt and I knew then that I'd get to my destination. If not, I'd be lost but wouldn't be alone. There were 7 of us who alighted at the same stop. A group of friends also gave a hint that they were headed to the screening as some wore TVXQ lanyards while one had a 동방신기 nameplate pinned on her bag. 
• We arrived at the venue just as they were about to play the longest line game. That's when I finally met Hannah and Novee. I was also so happy to see Mari and Bel again. 
• And we're off to the main event: the screening. I had never watched a full TVXQ duo concert DVD by myself.  The last full concert screening that I had attended was The Secret Code screening and I was just a new fan  that time. This time, I smiled with the fans, screamed and even cursed with them but often, I just found myself staring intensely on the screen as I watched Yunho and Changmin carry on as TVXQ. As what I told Novee during the screening, those two adjusted really well; Gumaling kumanta si Yunho at gumaling sumayaw si Changmin. Sobrang nakakaproud. 
• Raffle time. CassPH  is my lucky charm. I had won prizes from their raffles or games since 8G and this DBD was not an exception, my name got called again. Lucky ♥. 
• We were not able to watch everything but though it was cut short, it still felt the same. It was worth it. 
• Again, I didn't know my way out of the venue. Hannah and her squad was kind enough to help me find a transportation that  lead me to EDSA. Good thing I did not choose to ride the bus going to Quezon City. The traffic was crazy that night.
• The end. xD

Concert Screening Part 2: JYJ: "The Return of The King" Concert [10302015]
*note: This will be short because I don't remember some details anymore. >_<*

• For the second time, I went to Korean Cultural Center and watched the Concert Screening of JYJ's Return of The King. 
• I came in late (see the pattern? coughIamalwayslatecough xD), but just in time for raffle and the second part of the screening. 
• So there I was, confused whether I was at the right venue (the emcee was different and there was a child about 5 yrs old so I was hesitant). I dropped my bag, had a minute of chatting with two lovely ladies (whom later on became my company until the end of the screening), and to my surprise, my name was called out for the raffle. I WON AGAIN! Emphasis on the word AGAIN because wow, just how lucky I could be when it comes to fandom-related raffles?! To think that this was the first I've ever attended an event by JYJ Philippines. I was totally delighted! I won a JYJ shirt and a JYJ poster plus postcards. Lucky! ♥
• I sat with Betsy and Genevieve (the two lovely ladies) for the remaining time of the event. Genevieve happened to be the mom of the child I saw earlier. She brought her son to a concert screening! (I'd probably do the same with my child xD) 
• They sang In Heaven and Fallen Leaves in the concert and my fangirl heart was happy. I love their ballads and I am biased to their In Heaven album. Their handsome faces were just secondary to why I am their fan. It was really their voices that made me like them. (I am typing this account while listening to my recording of Fallen Leaves. Calm down, my heart. T_T) Many things had changed, but their songs take me back to that time when I decided to be their fan and stuck with them against all odds. It was bittersweet but it's worth the time. They will always be worth it. :)
• To be honest, I had not been very much updated with JYJ activities. (Please don't hold this against me. I am also not very much updated with my friends' lives so this is standard for me xD) The last physical album I bought from them was In Heaven. I had not been following their activities (same goes for TVXQ) so there are parts of the concert (songs and talks) I didn't get at first. Though different crowd, the enthusiasm of fans were the same. We were screaming, singing along and Krissy and her friends waved their light sticks as if they were in a concert. 
• After the screening, we got hungry so we ate at Jollibee just across KCC. Most of the people who attended the screening also had their dinner there. Betsy, Genevieve and I talked *spazzed* for hours over dinner. Genevieve's child was obviously bored already yet we still continued. It felt like I haven't talked about JYJ for a loooooong time so I was all smiles for the most part of our conversation. 
• And so the screening ended but just like before, I went to the screening alone and gained friends after. ♥

From the bottom of my fan girl heart, THANK YOU everyone. I started attending these events 5 years ago and until now, I still felt the same; awestruck, delighted, overwhelmed, grateful. A lot of things had happened. There's the split, the conflicts, the issues and now the enlistment. Yet even after almost everything had changed, we remained as the constant. It would be so nice to watch them live with the same crowd I had belonged to from all the fan gatherings and concert screenings I had attended. I don't know when or how it would happen but I sincerely hope it would come true. Until the next event. :)

- wolfpeach :)

Every ending is a start of a new beginning. :)

9:54 AM 11/28/2012 (+7:00 timeline)

Because my connection is as slow as a turtle and I want to tell these thoughts out. NOW.

So rumor has it that JYJ and SMEntertainment has finally put an end to their legal battle. FINALLY.

As quoted from the post,

"It is said that SM Entertainment and JYJ have both withdrawn all lawsuits against one another, and have agreed to not interfere with any of each other’s activities"

And as I was reading this I cannot help but be glad and be genuinely happy for JYJ because finally, all the stress about this lawsuit is over.

You don't know how difficult these 3 years had been for all of us-- for Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin and Yunho and for the fans of all five. It was painful to see your most-loved group separated in 2 units. Even more when one unit holds on to the name that once belonged to five members and when the other unit started a group of their own. 'Painful' is not even the appropriate word to describe it; It was crazy, chaotic and nerve-wrecking to the point that I don't even know with what conclusion I want it to end, I just want it done. I'd be a hypocrite if I say that I never wanted the ending where in JYJ takes back their complaint and just makes peace with SM Entertainment and my OT5 is back again together. When Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu released their first album as JYJ and when TVXQ came back as duo, I thought that what I wanted was such a selfish wish. I saw how all of them struggled yet kept moving on. I felt the frustration of JYJ for not being able to perform on national television, the pressure that Changmin and Yunho had to carry when they came back as duo and their fear that their fans would leave them having as what they've become. But they never left us. They didn't quit and continued to move on and that made me very proud of them. With that I learned to accept them as JYJ and TVXQ.

Am I happy that the lawsuit has finally ended? Very happy. (In fact I was singing to myself awhile ago in class my student asked me if something happened today. I was too happy.) Am I still happy even if the end of the lawsuit means that it is already official that Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu is no longer under SM Entertainment and that them becoming TVXQ again will be even more impossible? YES. I am still happy regardless of the consequences because the lawsuit ending means freedom for the three. Am I giving up the idea of seeing all five of them performing in one stage again? NO. Not ever. I still hope that someday, I will be able to hear them singing together again, even in different groups. For when they start singing together again, their harmony and melody will always be one, regardless of whatever circumstances. :)

This may be the ending of the lawsuit but every ending means a new beginning. What lies ahead all of us in future is still blur but one thing's for sure, whatever happens, I will still watch over them. I'll still be a fan of Jaejoong, Changmin, Junsu, Yunho and Yoochun until they tell me to stop. :)

7G[✓] 8G[✓] 9G[✓] 10G [X]

Liking TVXQ was never my intention. I disliked them at first. They are people who kept on appearing wherever I go. I never searched for them. It was them who showed themselves to me; just like how I encountered Cassiopeia Philippines. Attending 7G was merely accidental. I wouldn’t have gone there if not for Tohoshinki’s Best Selection album launch but it was different for the succeeding gatherings. I was interested, excited and delighted when the yearly gatherings were announced. For 8G and 9G, I had it all planned and made it there. It became a yearly habit-- a habit I thought I’d never stop doing. It would have been the same for 10G… if only I was still in the Philippines. J

If I was there when 10G was announced, I would have cleared my August 25 right there and then. I would have arranged a meet up for the person-in-charge of ticket and bought mine. If the venue was unfamiliar, I would have searched on it, made all the possible preparations as far as printing out the directions so that on that day, I wouldn’t be lost. I would have been welcomed by the sight of a crowd that has always been excited for these yearly events. I would be amazed again by the dedication the cores have been giving to these events. I would be randomly taking pictures—not of the merchandises nor the standees or tarps of TVXQ but of the people who attended the event. I would have recorded the giggles, the cries and screams during the film viewing.  And as the event ends, I would have been awestruck again.

Attending these gatherings had always been a comfort. It would always give a prick in the heart seeing clips or whatsoever of TVXQ with Jaejoong, Changmin, Yoochun, Junsu and Yunho in it. But a prick is better than a heart burst from not being able to see them as that again. The event was always beautiful to me. The concept was always creative but that was just one factor. It’s always the people in the event that made it beautiful. The love and support of the fans never faded. It was always there. There might be times that it’s stained but it never left… and I feel sad for not being able to witness that love again.

Will I be able to attend 11G? 12G? When will I be able to attend the gatherings again, even I don’t know. I don’t even know if there will be succeeding gatherings after 10G. When I decided to go, I was not afraid of being alone in an unfamiliar place. I was only worried that by the time I come back, all the things I was used to are already gone and done. 

To the CassPH core (if there’s a possibility that you’d be reading this), I’m sorry. I had not been a good member. I wanted to offer my help as volunteer or attend your other activities but even if I want to, I wouldn’t be able to go. Not anytime soon. So even with the inexistent member as I am, I want to thank you for giving me the great times I had during the past gatherings and events. You (the cores) and all the people who are part of Cassiopeia Philippines are all wonderful. Just like what I said in my previous blogs about the gatherings, I hope it continues. It’s not a command, just a selfish wish. Hopefully, I’d be able to witness it all again. 

I left a lot in the Philippines—family, friends, acquaintances and some other things. I was not even able to pack my things myself as I was still busy doing my work. It was my mom who did all the packing. I haven’t seen what’s in it until I arrived here. When I had it unpacked, this was one of the things that she packed for me.

Even though I’m already somewhere far and in different timeline, I’d always be a member of Cassiopeia Philippines. I’ll let this shirt shout how the supporters of TVXQ in the Philippines have been keeping the faith all this time, loud and proud. :)

-Regina, spreading the love from Indonesia J

Emoshinki Punches: Right Hook, Left Hook.

@6002theMicky: 트윗...삭제할까...??

trans: Shall I delete... twitter...??

via @AllRiseXiahtic

07192012

And my timeline burst in virtual tears and pleading tweets. Not that I'm happy, but I wasn't sad as well. I think it's... numbness? :) Well I thought he had really deleted his account and how I was worried at that moment. But generally when he tweeted that I...really didn't feel anything. It doesn't really mean that I don't care but... I just don't feel like... believing it.

Sure, Park Yoochun is a really emotional type of person but I think that's the reason why I don't believe that tweet. He's emotional; too emotional to the point of saying/doing things without thinking of it. And once he have managed his emotions, he'll tweet again and say "Sorry for making you all worried. I am just too tired..." or something like that. The guy haven't had a best year so far. Yes he got into successful dramas, won awards, but he lost his father, he's being bothered by stalkers more often than the unusual. TV guesting and promotions as JYJ are still hard to achieve and the lawsuit is still on going. Yes he's fine in general but not all over fine so for the guy to be emotional, is just normal.

Thus for Yoochun to tweet that didn't really surprised me. At least he gave us a hint that he is not well. If it were the Yoochun before he would've drove alone in the middle of the night and drowned himself in alcohol. Maybe he also did that these past few days but he included us in his burden which I think is better than keeping everything to himself...alone.

He may really decide to delete his account but even if he does, I believe he'll come back. Why? Because the fans' pull of gravity is greater than the man's resistance.

And just when I finally finished this post and about to click publish, I read this tweet.

Yunho: Don't end up like us. Your group is everything to you. They are your family. After a few years pass by, stay exactly the way you are now. Don't listen to the "You won't last 5 years" comments. We lasted more than. Your members are your support system. If you have problems, talk it out. If you think something is unfair, talk to a member about it. If you are apart from each other, keep contact as much as you can. Never lose the closeness you guys have. Never feel like your feelings are a burden to everyone else. That's what family is for. To share the same burden and help get rid of it. If someone makes you angry or you make someone angry, don't wait until it's too late to let them know or apologize for what was did and or said. Because that one simple foolish fight will be what leaves you never speaking to that person again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNgBwc6zy6U

@AKTF2012 

Why must these happen all in one blow? :(

Some said that what Yunho said on the video was not the same with the translation. If that's the case then that's really disappointing. I felt bad reading the translation without looking further into details but I felt worse when I learned of the possibility that it wasn't real. It's not because I want that translation to be real and said by Yunho but because it was as if that someone played with my feelings. I feel hurt and sad; the feeling of being heartbroken. Fans of all those five are already experiencing too much more than what any fan can ever imagine. I hope people can just stop... minding us. Please let us support all five and just let us hold onto that tiny hope that in the end, our wish will be granted; no matter how long, no matter how impossible. What wish? A wish won't come true if said right? So even that, please just leave it all to us.

I've received blows after blows long before; almost 3 years to be accurate. Getting this far, I won't get knocked down right away. There are times when the counting is almost close to end, but even before the bell rings, I stand up. I know these emoshinki punches will happen more often than the usual but I'm up with the match. I'm a masochist after all. 

Kim Junsu's Tarantallegra and Post-Mothers-Day Post :))

So everyone was crazy over Junsu's Tarantallegra and just hours ago my twitter timeline was really moving so fast as I think the album already became available online. Not that I don't like it but I haven't listened to it even with all the hype; This was only true until a few minutes ago. I've watched the MV and as I'm writing this post, I'm currently listening to some songs from the album.

I never really watched their dance MVs even when they were five. The most I've watched I think was Mirotic. Other than that I've only watched their MVs/ PVs of the likes for 1-2 times per song. I prefer listening to them than watching them on videos. This is very relevant after I've watched and listened to Tarantallegra. I thought I can watch all through out the video but half-way thru I cracked up. The latter part of the video was awkward, funny, crazy and just all out hilarious to me; Same feel that I had when I've watched TVXQ duo's Keep Your Head Down. It's evidently different when I listened to both songs. I can listen to them repeatedly but I can't do the same with their MVs. 

So I decided to listen to some songs and how I felt proud as I played track after track. Junsu is really one talented person. He can obviously sing, dance and he can write songs. I'd be a hypocrite If I'd say that the this-could-have-been-more-awesome-if-they-were-still-five thought never came to me. It strikes me every now and then but it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate their individuality. 

Crazy as it seems, after I have listened to the songs it felt that I was like a mother who's giving out his son to the world. 

A mother takes care of her child, cares for him until he'll have his own wings and fly. One does not compare her children with each other as everyone has unique characteristics and stands out on his own.

Kim Junsu was already flying high for some time now and he keeps on soaring. It was a bittersweet feeling as it felt like it was just yesterday when he was putting up his cute-angel-xiah pose to doing handstand with Yunho on their SBS Gayo Daejun performance. It felt that I've watched him grow to what he has become now and though in fear, I know one day, I have to let him go so the whole world will be able to see how he can shine with his own light. I have to separate him with my other children as it will make him grow into a mature person and acquire independence. But doing this doesn't mean that I will totally abandon him. I'm just right here, watching how far he can go, how high he can soar. If one day he gets wounded and fall, I'll fix his wings so that he could fly again. If I have my own wings, I would gladly give it to him so as to see him soar high again. Crazy aren't I? :)

I think that these feelings were always felt by mothers. Don't get me wrong. I'm only 22 and I haven't even been in a relationship. I just speak through experience; The love and care I've experienced from my mom and the freedom she gave me on my life choices and decisions. 

So to all the moms in this fandom, the moms of the fans of those five and to the moms of those five, THANK YOU. I will always be grateful to all the moms of people I've encountered. You are all truly admirable in your own ways. Keep guiding us. Happy Mothers Day! :)

9G :)

A very late post but better late than never. :)

February 25 2012 marked the 9th Annual Gathering of Cassiopeia Philippines. I've been attending their gatherings since their 7th and this, in my own opinion, was by far the most laborious, time-consuming, exhausting yet the most organized and fulfilling gathering among all that I have attended to. Just seeing the whole thing from start to end makes me feel really proud of being a part of this fandom. :)

The venue was somewhere new and unknown to me. I have no idea how to get there. Many complained that the venue was far from them, it was difficult to go there, this and that. It was no where near my place but I thought, why should I complain when I'll only attend and didn't even contribute to the preparations they've been doing since then? And besides, everything that attendees need to know was provided by the site. I'm really not good at directions so I actually printed the directions they provided. It was fun acting like a tourist not knowing where to go. Even more when you get the directions right. When I saw the Fort Shuttle bus, it was as if I saw TVXQ because I was really happy. :)) The next problem was the stop. I've always had a problem with directions so even if everything was already provided in the instructions, I still don't know where I should go. Good thing there were two recognizable cassies (they were wearing their red cassiopeia shirt :p) who also took the shuttle bus. When they got off, I followed them. I don't know if they noticed me but thanks to them I got to the venue. :)

I wasn't expecting that the venue was actually the Fullybooked bookstore that I know. Going up to the venue was like roaming in a huge library. At one point I actually wanted to stop over and browse the books. The books surprised me but this was even more surprising.

The venue was already filled with a lot of people. Some were buying JYJ's album, some buying CassPH's merchandises while others are buying tickets and waiting for the gallery to open. I was planning to get earlier schedule because I have a debut to attend by night but then all the good schedules were sold out. Good thing Edward, one of CassPH's core was so kind to have actually reserved me a ticket of my choice because I wasn't available on his meet up time.

Bags were not allowed and so they opened a "baggage counter"-- improvised but works the same. You give them your things, they'll give you a number, you give them back the number and they'll return your things to you. The place for the bags, in my opinion, wasn't that comfortable for the people in charge so for this lovely "baggage counter" girls, job well done~ :)

And so the wait was over and the gallery was officially opened. It was literally a gallery. If Hong Kong had Disneyland then I dare say CassPH was able to pull off a Dong Bang Land. It wasn't at the level of what Bigeast's have done in Japan but the effort was no where less than anybody. At one look you'd just think that the gallery was just a huge room with lots of photos, posters and everything DB5K-related. Like this.

It was simple if you'll look at it from a far. But as I took a closer look, I can't express how I was surprised of the labor they did to put up those things. It wasn't just concept-layout-print-post. I'm a teacher and I've always hated decorating the bulletin boards every beginning of the school year. Aside from the brainstorming of the concept that you'll do, it takes MANUAL labor-- cutting, pasting, sticking. It's tiring and very time consuming. And this is what the organizers exactly did with the gallery.

The pictures were not flatly posted around the room. The pictures were pasted to another material to make it embossed. We do this at school for the bulletin titles and headers but we use styrofoam. You can either use a laser cutter or a manual cutter but whichever, it is still laborious. And the material they used was harder than styro so it's more difficult to cut and did you see how many photos were actually posted? Just this part was already amazing. And It's not even half of the whole gallery.

The picture from the upper left corner is a complete list of the tours that they've had since year 1. The gaps implied that it was printed separately and manually. And you just have to combine it all as if doing a jigsaw puzzle. A+ for effort again. I've always loved to see the reactions of the people that are not fans but witnessed the event, just like those two kuyas at the lower right corner. While they were setting up the screen one was looking around at the crowd and the other one was watching the guys who were the reason of that gathering. They always give me the "ano-bang-meron-dito-sa-mga-to?" reaction and I love how they're all puzzled about it. :))

Everything that we saw around the gallery was from the fans itself who were kind enough to lend their most precious collections. I wasn't a DB5K fan ever since they've debuted so I only know things from where I became a fan. There in the gallery I saw posters that were out of print already. You know it's old because you'd see scratches on the sides of the poster. It's precious because some of it were signed by the members and most of it came from their tours and concerts.

And because those were things from fans, it was the organizer's job to take care of it no matter what. They placed notices such as "display only, do not touch", "handle with care" but my most favorite was the warning written for the DB5K balloon. It was frightening yet sweet and I find it amusing. To the owner of the balloon, I hope it was returned safe to you. :)

So after the kuyas have set up the screen, they played a concert through it and as soon as it started the people gathered in front of the screen and watched. They didn't care about anything anymore. :p Even some of the cores went there to see and left their post for a little while. It was as if those five guys were physically there as they were enthusiastically watching the concert. And that's not even the private screening that was included in the event. :)

In the gallery, not only can you look at those photos but you can also browse magazines that featured the members. It was seeing what was exactly inside those magazines for real. The attendees were delighted to have held and browsed it. I myself didn't understand what was written in those magazines because they're either in Japanese or Korean but the pictures were the center of the attraction so we need not to understand everything. Some were browsing while some were taking photos of it. That side of the gallery looked like a library where everyone was "studying". If I remember it right there was even a "Silence Please" sign on that area. :)) There at the corner you can also have a free photo with DB5K members. I never liked solo pictures so I asked a CassPH core to join me in the photo. :))

If you get tired of walking around the exhibit and "reading" in the library, then you have Tohocafe to serve you. They serve cupcakes (was it Trisha who baked those? ^^) and coffee. At first, it seemed that the people in charge of the cafe were not expecting of the queue it would have. Until the whole thing became organized. One was taking orders, one was serving and delivering the food, one is the cashier and the other is packing for take out. I think it was Ate Tin who was serving the cupcakes. She opened the door outside and said "Pasok po kayo sa Labas" because the dining area was outside the gallery. Haha :) I wasn't able to taste all cupcakes though I bought a set. As I have a debut to attend to that night and I don't have time to buy a gift anymore, I just decided to give her those cupcakes. :)

The last part of the event (for those who wasn't able to attend Tohonight like me) was the Film Showing. The schedule that I got was 4:30 to 6pm but due to technical difficulties, it got delayed. I think we've entered the viewing room about 5:30 already. As my gallery schedule was done by 3pm, I had all the time to browse the books from Fullybooked. As I was waiting, I heard some of the staffs' comments about the audiences of the Film Viewing. One said "Mga fanatic talaga yung ganun noh. Kahit dvd lang grabe magreact." Other said "Ang ingay sa baba grabe! Yung pinapanood nila kala mo personal eh!" Truthfully, it's a wonder how those screenings can make the fans hype, cry, scream, cheer, fanchant and all. I've been witnessing these moments ever since 7G and I am still amazed. I was seated at the back and as the film showing showed clips from when they're still doing activities as five until now, you can hear sobs, and you can see fans comforting each other. I cannot explain what I felt that time. Should I be amaze of the bond I see from the attendees? Should I feel sorry for us because we can only see them through screens? I don't know what exactly I have felt that moment but one thing is for sure, I wanted Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun to witness what I was witnessing that very moment. Let's face it. Their split brought about many changes to the whole fandom. Some are siding to the current TVXQ while some are into JYJ. And most of the time, those who support all five equally are outnumbered. And this is the reason why I'm grateful to Cassiopeia Philippines. They showed me that it was not impossible to support all five. Some may think that there's more JYJ than current TVXQ in the whole event or vice versa but to me they've done a good job in balancing the whole gathering. There weren't any restrictions. Whether you're a fan of the two or the three, whoever is your bias, EVERYONE was welcome. It was simply a gathering that you need not think of what is currently happening right now rather it brings you back the good old memories those five have given you back then. When the lights were turned on it was like an enlightenment; that even when half of the fandom world is breaking we still have US. And to that that I bow down to the organizers along side with all the members and attendees. Thank you for a job well done. :)

We've had a concert screening, we've also experienced a carnival and now we're done with exhibit and gallery. All these were made by fans for fans and we will always be thankful to them. I hope the next time we'll be having a gathering it will be DB5K to fans. A tour, concert, fanmeet, or even just any/all of them stepping within the islands of the Philippines will be such a great gift to celebrate CassPH's 10th gathering. And to be able to see these fans happy, I'll keep on praying for that thing to happen. :)

Endless thanks to all the organizers and attendees who have never let go of their faith to DB5K. Though everything isn't being perfect for those five, they are still lucky to have you. Us. Thank you for showing me that it is never impossible to keep the faith no matter how long, no matter how difficult. Thank you. *group hug* :)

2nd year Fanniversary :))

It was thanks to plurk that I've known when was the first time I started liking DBSK or their music. It was August 20, 2009 when i first watched mirotic MV and on the 21st, I updated a plurk saying that DBSK's mirotic is addicting. This is also the first time that i've liked a kpop band. I do listen to korean music but that's just from the OST of kdramas and kvariety shows that i've watched. They are the first, and probably, the last. :)

So what has happened to this fangirl after 2 years? Let me go down the memory lane. :)

1. 2009 was the emo-est time of my Fan girl life. I was 4th yr college then and on the road to graduation, instead of joining school orgs and lurking at school and voting for the next set of student council officers, I joined trending events on twitter, I voted like crazy on dbsk-related polls, I lurked at forums and sites for like 10 times a day, I spam my notes with always keep the faith and to top it all, I started a blog. My first year was the emo-est as it was the time when the lawsuit was born and the time when DBSK as a quintet band was shaking. You just don't know how I crazily checked news regarding the development of the lawsuit. But as the year ended it was getting worse. Cancelled concert, fanmeets until I heard no news at all. This may sound exaggerated but it was really maddening. All the more when school is getting b*tchy as well.
2. 2010 was the peak of my fangirl life. With 3 months before graduation, I don't know how I was able to give an E for effort on fangirling back then. Aside from the obligatory buying a DBSK album releases and the usual stalking of sites and forums for news, it was this year when I've most updated this blog. I even made birthday posts for each member! Looking back I was really a dedicated fan back then. I remembered that on Changmin's birthday, we were preparing our thesis and finals then I asked my classmates to write a happy birthday changmin on a paper. If that's not crazy then tell me what it is. I was religiously updating this blog even at the busiest time of my college life-- requirements here, papers there but I managed to update this back then. Dedicated, weren't I?
3. I may have graduated in college but i've still not graduated from the fan girl academy. While my classmates were busy looking for job, I was enjoying my vacation while fangirling. But it was also the saddest time of fangirling as it marked the major hiatus of DBSK as 5. It was holy week when my t-list was sobbing in their tweets as AVEX formally announced that they'd put an indefinite halt to Tohoshinki's group activities. AVEX, as most cassies thought, was the last resort for the quintet to stay as five but everything shattered. Though this might be the saddest moment, personally, It was a blessing. I was formally hired at a school May of 2010. This also marked the year when I started going to kpop events and gatherings. CassPH's 7G was the first event that I went to. And on the first salary that I received, I bought DBSK's first korean album, Tri-angle. It felt good as it was my own-earned money that I used in buying it. But as I've started working, things I've done as a fan girl slimmed.
4. Mid-year of 2010 is struggle time. The lawsuit filers formed a group named JYJ and the other two were just focusing on not-so-music-related stuffs. This was also the time when fandom was beginning to breakdown. It was a good thing that I was getting busy for work as I don't have the time to check on current news-- but I still did, occasionally. I put queued posts on tumblr, I try to join trending topic but not as much as I have done before and still bought their albums, attended events but more than that, there's not much that i've done. It was the same in the beginning of 2011. This time, DBSK finally came back-- not as a quintet but as a duo.
5. August 2011, what have I become as fan girl? Before in my twitter bio, it was written there that I'm a full time teacher, part time fan girl but just recently, i've changed it to full time teacher, occasional fan girl. I may not be at the same level when I was a new fan girl than to the fan girl who have turned 2 yrs old right now but it doesn't mean that I've less liked them. They will always be my first and last korean-band-love. It's just that, i have learned to accept the changes and the reality that there's the existence of a group JYJ who have once became a member of DBSK and that DBSK right now is a duo. I've accepted it, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It stings a bit, but I know i've moved on. There are times when I look back at the past and wishes to stay there forever but i know that won't help me.

So how was the 2-year old fan girl? She has turned into a fangirl who looks back in the past but adjusts to the present and hopes for a better future. :)

8G’s un/lucky one :)

I was one of those people who were already excited for 8G as early as the 7G ended. So when I knew that 8G will be held on May 7, I told myself that I definitely have to go. When CassPH announced the start of meet up in buying the tickets, I went at once. It was so nice of Edward to wait for me until 6pm and luckily I was included in the first 88.

8G’s theme this year was the Carnival so they added a sprinkle of carnival in every booth. Have you tried playing darts? Have you ever wanted to have a photoshoot with TVXQ? And have you ever wanted to go to Quiapo and visit a manghuhula to know your future? Well, too bad 8G has ended already because you get to experience all of those if you were there.

As Early as April, 8G has partially started. CassPH held contests that lasted until the end of April and the winners were announced at the event. Who said @elbowyeish started the egg-trend?! It was actually Kim Junsu; thus the birth of the contest Ang Gintong Itlog ni Junsu video subbing contest. Because I was un/lucky, I wasn't able to know who won nor see the videos. Good thing CassPH posted it here. The next was named as Return of the King: Scavenger’s Hunt contest – the game that made me crazy. :P

LACK OF LUCK

I had no intentions of joining any contest from 8G because for me, attending the gathering was already enough. I was so excited about the gathering that I've always checked CassPH’s facebook page and their other sites for updates. Then I saw a post written as “ROTK clue #1”. I ignored it because I didn’t understand what it was until I saw another clue post again. This time, I had a hunch where the clue was heading. Unfortunately, I was lost with Spudge’s “I will lead you to the king”. I was there but I don’t know where to look further and more importantly, I don’t know WHAT to look for. So with frustration, I gave that clue up and I told myself that I will definitely look for the kings in whatever form they appear.

START OF LUCK

How I was able to find a king was merely out of luck. As I visited my twitter, dbsknights posted an update. I clicked the link and on the sidebar was the sentences “congratulations! You found a king!” and I was “ano daw? I found a king? Ay shet ROTK! ” It’s junsu on a tarot card with a title of a king and a question – exactly how CassPH explained in the mechanics of the game: find the king, the king’s title and the answer to the question. And so I decided to formally join the contest. I got 1/5 kings! XD Jaejoong simply appeared to me through @joejjang’s tweet. Next that I found was Changmin. I think that was the first time I found a king through a CassPH’s clue (yes, I am slow like that, thank you XD). Then Yoochun and Yunho left me hanging. The two were no where to be found and I was desperate to look for them because I read posts and tweets that they only need one more king. And it’s a battle for the first 8! XD (I am so happy this was held in April, else I wont be able to join them like this as I already had to report back to work first day of May ) You don’t know how crazy I was when @yookcheoni tweeted yoochun’s tarot card. “SHET SHET SHET!!!!!! ISA NA LANG ISA NA LAAAAANG!!!!! YUNHOOO!!!!!!!” Then holy week came. I try to restrain myself from using the internet during these time of the year as a form of my abstinence. And so I thought that winning was impossible as I already missed 3 days looking for Yunho. Good Saturday morning, I ended my abstinence. (When you think that you only need 1 more king and you may still have the chance to be included in the winners, do you think I can still abstain from the internet longer? XD) So I checked CassPH’s facebook and the 8^th clue was “go to the city and visit the red house“ AND I WAS SURE IT’S ONETVXQFORUMS—the site I’ve been stalking since I started looking for the kings. I was too excited to find who the king was. I think google knew that I was having a battle against time hoping that the king was Yunho and that I can still be included in the winners. Google was a sadist. I was so excited, in a hurry THEN IT STOPPED RESPONDING. “SHEEEEEET!!!!!!!! NAGHANG!!!!!!!!! TAKTE BAKIT NAGHANG?!?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!“ And as I was a desperate scavenger, I logged out my profile, logged in my brother’s profile, opened firefox (as chrome was not being friendly) went to onetvxqforums, logged in, went to the red house and there was the “congratulations“ word. It was even more thrilling when the king’s picture was taking forever to load until I found out that it was YUNHO! THE EMPEROR!!!! “SHET SHET SHET SI YUNHO NGAAAAAAA!!!!! LEADER!!!!!!!“ As I scrolled down the page to look for the question, I frowned after reading it. “PAK. BAKIT ANG HIRAP NG TANONG?! BAKIT BAKIT BAKEEEEEET?!?!?!?!“ And feeling that I was in a game show with the no coaching rule, I tried to think of the answer myself….and failed. Thankfully, I was able to have an idea by visiting CassPH facebook info page. And having found the five kings, I sent my answers to CassPH.

WHEN LUCK FLUCKTUATES

So I thought that the gathering itself was the only thing left for me as I was already done being a scavenger. I was just browsing the web when CassPH reminded people that there were still slots for the winners as they were waiting for the FIRST 8. I was really hoping that I was one of them and looked back again on my answers. (FYI, when I decided to join the contest, I copied the format in sending the entry on sticky pad so that every time I see a king, I just paste the info there. Serious scavenger IS SERIOUS. XD) Another reminder from CassPH was to check the answers and the link. I was a little confident with the answers as I found it from cassies sites and from the page of CassPH but the links kept me thinking… “the exact link but not the photo link… the exact link but not the photo link… TAAAAAEEEENAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! MALI AKO MALI AKO MALI AKO!!!!!! SHET SHET SHET!!!!!!! TAAAAAAKTEEEEE!!!!! BAKEEEEET!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!“ I really freaked out!!!! Resending the entry was still accepted but wadapak! The emperor appeared Friday night and I just found him Saturday morning and it was already SUNDAY EVENING when I realized that I was wrong! @!$@#%@^#$&@^@#%@ I was ranting my frustrations on my twitter and later that night I received a DM asking me what happened as she was worried about my all caps-raining-with-exclamation tweets. That’s when I realized that I was, indeed, crazy at that moment. I even screen-capped my tweets so that I can have a good laugh at my crazy self. xD I told myself that I will not resend my entry, as I know it wont make any sense anymore. It’s just hours before the deadline and im pretty sure there were already a lot who have found all five kings, answered the questions right and had the correct links…there goes my frustration again. @$@#%#%#%@ But because I was really bothered, I resend my entry; minutes before the deadline. Rising gods of the east, himala naman dyan please~ XD

LUCK LOCKED

It was only a day before the gathering when an unfortunate event happened. My auntie died Friday afternoon and we had to go to Cavite. That’s Friday night and 8G was Saturday. I was so down thinking that I wouldn’t be able to go to the event. “walanjo. Kasama sa first 88 na bumili ng ticket tapos hindi pala makakapunta. Badtrip!” Not that I was blaming my auntie but it was just really…unfortunate of me. You don’t know how I begged my parents for us to come home Saturday morning. They said we’ll be travelling back by 6am. NOT. We traveled back by 10am. While 8G attendees were probably waiting for the event to start, I was still on my way home. HOW GREAT. We arrived at home by 1pm. I just took a bath, grabbed my wallet, my ticket and went directly to starmall. It was already 2pm when I arrived at the mall.

SCAVENGER’S HUNT: EXTENDED

Here’s the funny part. I have no idea where star mall trade hall was. I am familiar with mega mall’s trade hall but that was my first time for star mall. I was smiling while walking thinking that I got lost even in a small place. XD I passed by a sales guy and he was inviting me to their boutique. I smiled at him and he said “thank you ma’am for smiling!” I thought, “thank you ka pa dyan. Hindi ko na nga Makita yung pupuntahan ko.” I was walking for almost 30 minutes in looking for the carnival. It was almost 4pm when I arrived – approximately 2 hours to enjoy the event.

8G: The Carnival | The Final Luck

Just like in 7G, I came alone to this year's gathering. I don’t have anyone with me but there were cassies willing to accompany me in the event whom I met on twitter. (kind fans are KIND. ) The first thing I did was to buy the complete A + B side collection album. I was lucky to still have the exclusive tohoshinki bag tag though my name wasn’t printed anymore as they ran out of ink. The next thing I did was to claim my membership card. I went to the booth and I was given the list of those who purchased the card. I looked for my name and opposite to it was the words “ROTK winner”. “hala!!!! Nanalo ako!!!!” I was really surprised because…well you know what happened. I think I freaked the ladies at the booth as I was really delighted to be one of the winners. That means having the chance to experience the booths and have 2 CassPH merchandises FOR FREE. I have less than 2 hours to claim my prize and so I went from booth to booth.

I can feel that the event was about to end so I had to hurry else my prizes would go to a waste. First I went to get the merchandises. I chose the shirt and the lanyard. I was really smiling while I was pointing them. Next that I did was the photobooth. I never liked solo shots…well it’s not really solo pero ako lang ang literal na buhay so I took Lyn, a friendly junsu-biased cassie who accompanied me in the event. Next to us in the line was jeje-look-alike and core mish. Because I am a random person and I really want more people on the photo, I asked them to join us. At first they didn’t want it but I insisted and won. XD The first picture was blurry as all of us weren’t prepared for it. I even shouted “ate wait lang pause muna! “ to the person-in-charge. XD The second pic was fine though. If you know them, please tell them I am so sorry for being random like that. :p Next stop was the darkness eyes. This was full of HAHA. My aunt used to go to Quiapo and seek answers to her concerns and I never imagined in my life that my future will ever be read to me through tarot cards. It was EPIC when kuya manghuhula asked me my concern—love or career. I thought “kuya ang talagang concern ko lang naman ay magamit yung napanalunan ko. Yun lang. XD” It was even more funny when he told me his readings. I chose love by the way. XD I was taking a photo of the ladies-in-charge of the booth. I don’t know where the bread came but they asked “gusto mo?” and so I took one after which they added 6 pesos isa. (I don’t really remember the price they said XD) It was a joke but I was actually willing to pay for it. :p Then the dongbangspinki booth, the trivia booth and my last was the darts booth. It was at that time when they started showing music videos of dbsk. The people-in-charge of the booth were screaming. She even told me “ate wait lang nood muna tayo ha!” Of course i wasn't a kill joy so I let them watch the videos first.

And there it was again. The same scene i've seen last year when we were watching the secret code concert. There it was again, the people screaming each time a dbsk member does this, shows that, sing. There it was again, the people singing with just what you may call film viewing yet they were doing fan chants: what fans do when the boys were performing live or having a concert. We only have those videos recorded and viewed but the screams, the cheers, the happiness in their faces was not less of a difference to those people who’ve seen the five live. Each time the crowd screamed, I saw the awe in the eyes of people who were there but were really not a fan (those from astroplus and odyssey)- the wonder of how can people be that hyped with just that. Yes, we only have these gatherings. Majority of the fans there weren’t able to see the five perform live. Lucky are the fans of Shinee, Super Junior, 4 minute, 2am and all the other kpop artists who’ve been here for they were able to see them in flesh. Lucky are the fans that were able to wave their light sticks in a concert. Lucky are the fans of groups that are physically whole, with no disbanding and lawsuit issues. Lucky are they, but I believe I was LUCKIER for despite all the lack of luck, the fandom I chose was still always there and never left the boys—supported them even as JYJ or TVXQ. If keeping the faith was a contest, I think we have already won. And whatever the future holds for the boys, I hope the fandom keeps on winning.

This fan account will not be this long if I didn’t enjoy the event. To the attendees, thank you for showing me that at the end of it all, I was still lucky and to the CassPH core, thank you for making me extremely happy and...for making me love this fandom even more. I really hope you won’t get tired of doing this. I know this cant be forever, but I hope this can be for longer. See you at the next event? :)