Has it been seven years for me? When I started this blog, it was mostly to remember all the good apart from all the bad. But where's the good now?
Right now, Park Yoochun is caught up in a case. The crazy part? He's caught up in an issue when he's currently in military service. It's tragic that this issue must happen when normal fandom don't hear news about their oppas on military service period but I get it. The fandom I chose isn't just an ordinary fandom and it would never be. The fandom I chose would always be that fandom who had to experience all sorts of issues that other fandoms don't. Filing lawsuit against their company? Done. Disbanding issues? We had it long before. Members staying and leaving? Check. Broadcast ban? Oh yes. Dating issues? Of course. Rape case? That's our current issue. And you know what hurts? It's to realize that after years of investing to people whom I'm sure don't even know I exist, you would never know the real story behind all those issues. And the heartbreak is that even after knowing that fact the hard way, you still hold on. You grab on anything that would make you stay. Because the good things that you're looking for right now, were the same good that helped you on your bad days when you were still new in the fandom. These people who are bringing you heartaches right now were the same people who brought you joy and the happiness in fangirl(ing). You met new friends. You had an inspiration.
Do I believe that Yoochun did it? I don't know. Do I think the girl is making up a story? I don't know. Do I agree of him being accused? No. He should have the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty. If Yoochun really did it, would I defend him? No. Am I tired of all these issues? Yes.
Am I tired of them? My logic says yes but the dreamy fangirl in me says otherwise. So as long as that fangirl is still within me, I'm going to hold on to that faith, no matter how unsure I am if it would be worth it until the end.
